It’s finally setting in that I’m no longer a college student. Every day, I’m up by 6:00am, commute to work, work for nine hours, and come home by 6:30pm. I travel nearly 90 miles every day and spend at least 12 hours per week in a car. Settling into this unintentional routine makes me feel one-dimensional and aimless. In college, I had a different schedule every day. I conducted research two days every week, worked as an RA part-time, and played in orchestra while enrolled as a full-time student. Having a busy schedule forced me to prioritize and work effectively. I did this for four years successfully, but burned myself out by the end of it. When I started working, I was excited to reclaim time for myself. I planned to play piano more, read more, and write more. I’ve done some of these things, but not as much as I wanted to.
I wondered why I was struggling to keep a consistent schedule. I used the same technique from college. This month I joined a local community orchestra, started writing my first science communication article, and volunteered for a podcast. Within two weeks, I noticed that I wasn’t fully committing myself and being present. I didn’t enjoy playing in the orchestra. I felt too tired to search and read science literature after work. I was excited to start new projects, but ran out of motivation when it became difficult. Maybe it’s a sign that I need to slow down and take a break, but it’s hard for me to take a break for a long time. I’m always looking for new ways to harness my creativity and expand my skills.
In my previous post, I discussed how I reflected on my involvement in extracurricular activities. Now that I work full time and commute part-time, I want to work towards my goals more intentionally. From graduating and moving back home to starting my job, I haven’t thought about my goals for the next few years, other than saving money and gaining life experience. As someone who has spent the last four years thinking about the future from the future, it is unlike me to not think about my goals.
“Thinking about the future from the future” is a skill that I gained in college. I thought about what I wanted in my future, so I took the necessary steps to get there. I didn’t limit myself to my past because my mind was set to my future vision. I wanted to try non-profit work, so I volunteered with a local environmental non-profit. I wanted to conduct research, so I applied for multiple research fellowships to fund my work. Coincidentally, I recently found this podcast* by Natalie Bacon who explains this concept more in-depth.
Honestly, I haven’t thought about my goals because I’m reluctant to become an adult. Cooking healthy lunches, scheduling medical appointments, and managing finances, or “adulting,” as many millennials and Gen Z call it, is overwhelming to do all at once. It seems like my parents and all “real” adults suddenly grew up and knew how to do everything. There’s a huge gap between where I am on the responsible adult spectrum and where my parents are. Granted, they have at least 30 years of life experience more than me. Now I’m in this liminal space of extended adolescence and adulthood, trying to figure out where I go from here.
Earlier this month, I read this article* by Jamelle Watson-Daniels, which described how to make the most of a gap year(s). From her experience, the gap year(s) is a good time to learn personal responsibility. After some self-reflection, I decided that I want to focus on are taking care of my health and learning to manage my finances. My main goal is to develop essential life skills, so that I can better cope with the obstacles that I will inevitably face. I don’t want to learn these things for the first time when I’m on my own. I’m fortunate to have my family and friends here now to help me.
Lately I’m on a self-improvement track. I’m reading about personal finance from The Financial Diet* and listening to motivational podcasts like The Savvy Psychologist*. I made a list of tasks that I’ve procrastinated on, such as finding a doctor on my insurance network and creating a healthy meal plan. I set deadlines for myself, set measures to quantify my progress, and created a Gantt chart on Google Sheets (here’s how) to visualize my timeline. This is a great set-up, but it doesn’t matter if I don’t follow through. The Four Tendencies* is a concept by Gretchen Rubin, which describes how we respond to expectations. Everyone falls under one of four categories: upholder, obliger, questioner, or rebel. This is helpful to understand how we can change our habits. My quiz result says I am a questioner, which means that I do what I think is best. I think I am a blend of questioner and obliger, because I’m somewhat of a people-pleaser. It’s easier for me to work on something for someone else than to commit to something on my own for myself.
Implementing the following strategies will help me succeed in my goals:
- Design a habit to suit my needs.
- Consider exactly why and how a particular habit should be kept.
- Have an accountability partner.
- Determine constraints in everyday life to limit the overwhelm of decision-making.
Up until now, I was on a set path: school, college job. I thought that once I graduated college and got a job, I wouldn’t feel lost any more and could get on with my life. Clearly, this is not what happened. I’ve realized that this is not the best approach because it’s an elusive chase. I’m working to improve this mentality before going back to school. It was easy for me to isolate myself with school and forget about the outside world, where everyone else exists. I hope that by taking this time to cultivate a sense of self separate from school, I will become a better student and person.
*These links were not sponsored. I enjoy the content and wanted to share.