Why does fall break not exist at this university? The next holiday that we have is Thanksgiving break, which is a 4 day weekend. I’ll take it, but I’ll be dragging my feet on the way there.
We’ve reached about one-third of the way into the semester, which means it’s time for grades and evaluations. Between my two classes, only one class has 2 homework grades so far and no exams in either. This could be a good or bad thing. Good: I don’t have to worry about exams yet. Bad: I don’t know how well (or terrible) I’m doing in the class.
In undergrad, there was a constant competition to be at the top of the curve/class. However, that’s not the case anymore. In grad school, we are all here to learn, so there’s no need to be competitive. However, I noticed that I still have a small urge to know where I stand compared to my classmates.
Ultimately, our grades are a reflection of our own learning and can show gaps in our understanding. I am self-conscious about grades because I am afraid of being completely lost in class like I was when I was in engineering. I never want to go through that feeling again, which is why I’m so vigilant about preparing for class and understanding the material thoroughly. Next week, I’ll have a take-home exam, so I’ll find out how I’m doing.
As a TA, I’m evaluated by a mentor TA and my students. I don’t love evaluations because I take feedback personally. (Do you do this too? I think mine is a reflex from my piano/violin lessons – my teachers were quite picky and strict). Even though I know that most feedback is constructive, my brain automatically goes to thinking that any negative feedback is a reflection on myself.
My evaluations were mostly positive. The mentor TA praised how I prepared and facilitated the class and created a good environment for learning. My students rated me an average 4.5/5 and said I am “friendly,” “encourage inclusivity and participation,” “quick to respond/adapt to different situations,” and “provide resources to help us.”
Despite the positive feedback, I fixated on the “negative” comments. These comments were not negative or mean, but I interpreted it that I was not doing a good job. In reality, there is always room for improvement. I can choose to accept all, some, or none of the feedback. It’s easy to take feedback/evaluations personally when it’s not all positive. It’s because we naturally want to be great, which is a good thing. The feedback is there to show us what we can do better. Now that I have this feedback, I know that what I’m doing as a TA is good enough. I also have some great suggestions from the mentor TA and my students to build on so that I can improve on what I’m already doing.
When you get feedback from others, ask yourself these questions before you change what you’re doing:
- Do I trust this person’s opinion?
- Is this something I can do or want to do right now?
- What can I celebrate/be proud of in this endeavor?
I hope that you enjoyed reading about my personal experience and takeaways from my chemistry PhD journey. If you’d like to chat more about what I’ve shared, feel free to send me an email at hello@brittanytrinh.com or send me a message on Twitter and Instagram @brttnytrnh.