PhD Count: Week 62
I recently submitted my application for the National Science Fellowship Graduate Research Fellowship Program (NSF GRFP). The NSF GRFP is a five-year fellowship provides three years of financial support inclusive of an annual stipend of $37,000 (https://www.nsfgrfp.org/). The application consists of a personal statement (PS), a research statement (RS), and letters of recommendation (LORs), with deadlines in mid-October.
I previously applied for the GRFP as a senior in undergrad, but did not get it. However, I took my previous experience to help me prepare my application this time. In this post, I’ll share how I completed the 2022 NSF GRFP application.
Before we start, here’s a timeline of what I did:
- July – wrote PS, started getting ideas for RS
- Aug – reading for RS
- Sept – writing RS, asked for LORs
- Oct – revising PS and RS, met with letter writers, submitted application 2 days before, following up on LORs
How I Approached the Personal Statement
- Expanded on my previous personal statements in a positive light.
When I started writing the personal statement, I took old personal statements from my graduate school applications and compiled them together to get a starting point. Upon rereading, I thought they were written in a boring way, for ex: “I did this, then I did this, then I did this.”
I wanted to reframe how I described some of my past experiences. When I thought about writing it as a story about my science journey that I could share with my family and friends, I felt more authentic in my voice. My family/friends know what I’ve done, and they celebrated me in those accomplishments, but I never shared with them what I thought and how I felt about it when it happened. So this personal statement, or short story, will help them understand me better.
Revisiting and rewriting my story has also healed me in a way. I thought that my science journey was about struggling and lots of trial and error, and somehow *magically* I am here, working towards my PhD. Now I see how much I’ve grown through each experience, a steady self-discovery. Everything happens for a reason, even when we can’t see it at the moment it happens.
- Took time away from my writing, but got sucked into comparison mode.
I finished the main draft of the personal statement in early August, which I felt very confident about. I left it alone until October, and asked my advisor and a writing center instructor to read it. They gave positive feedback, which reassured me. But then I started reading other people’s essays, I thought “My statement isn’t interesting, I tell my story in a boring way,” etc. These thoughts made me feel doubtful, unsure, and not confident.
I suddenly had the urge to rework the entire statement. But when I tried to rework my words, nothing sounded right. That’s because when I work from this energy (doubt, unsure, not confident), then NOTHING will sound right to me because inside I’m already convinced that it’s not good.
- Believed that my personal statement doesn’t suck.
Instead, I decided to take a step back, and examine the facts from a neutral standpoint. I notice that the circumstances have not changed, but my thoughts and feelings towards them changed. The words on the page were the same as they were earlier when I got great feedback and felt super confident.
I realized that it doesn’t help me when I make things harder on myself like this. I’m not going to magically believe that my personal statement is the best, but I know that it won’t help me to keep thinking it sucks. All we can do is be ourselves, do our best, and own our story. It may not be the “best,” but it’s mine and it doesn’t suck!
Eventually, I decided that I did not need to redo the entire statement. Instead, I focused on the areas that I wanted to improve the most: creating a central point for my broader impact statement, modifying the introduction, and organizing the story in chronological order. What I had was already good, but now I wanted to make it a little bit better. Operating from this self-assured energy helped me finish writing my PS with more positivity.
How I Approached the Research Statement
- Started early so I could get ideas, help, and process all my negative emotions.
In July, before I started reading or writing the research statement, I asked my group for suggestions based on gaps in our own understanding of our research topic. After I selected an idea, I presented it to my advisor to get his opinion, who thought it was suitable for NSF.
I spent the next month reading papers to get a better understanding of the background and started doing some experiments based on preliminary data to get a sense of how my experiments worked. By the end of the month, I had a rough 1 page draft. And it was REALLY rough. It was so bad that I did not want to show anyone. But I knew that if I wanted to make progress, I had to get feedback soon.
Oddly enough, I was more comfortable asking my advisor for help when I was struggling initially, instead of my group members. Here’s an email that I sent him:
“Here is a rough first draft of my research plan statement. To be honest I am a little stuck and would like some guidance on how to move forward/improve what I have…”
My advisor later told me that he was concerned when he saw my email, but upon reading my RS, he said it was a good start. This reminds me of a quote that I read from The Scientist’s Guide to Writing,
“The point of the first draft is not to get it right, but to get it written.” -Matt Hughes (BTW, highly recommend reading Ch. 4-6 of this book, about managing writing behavior, getting started, and maintaining momentum.)
Starting early didn’t necessary help me get work done earlier, but it helped me process all my negative emotions and doubts at my own pace.
- Created accountability, asked for feedback, and did many revisions.
After I got over the fear of submitting these drafts, I set up weekly 1:1 meetings with my advisor starting in September up until the submission deadline, so that we could discuss his comments on my RS together. I knew that I needed that accountability so I could force myself to get things done sooner rather than later.
I did a lot of writing and rewriting, based on my advisor’s comments. By the 4th draft, I was finally ready to get feedback from my group members. My group members provided valuable feedback by providing clarification, questioning my understanding, and suggesting more scientifically accurate word choice or phrasing.
Another part of the RS was creating figures. It’s not required, but it aids the reviewer to quickly understand what the proposal is about. This was my first time making a scientific figure (not for slides). One of my group members advised me to think about how I want the figure to supplement the text. She also noted that in this case, the figure itself would not make or break my final proposal. With my group’s and advisor’s suggestions and feedback, I created so many versions of each component in my figure. Eventually, I decided on two figures that summarized my proposed aims.
Although the RS is only 2 pages, it takes time to come up with an idea, read the literature, and figure out what you want to propose. Then it takes even more time to design figures, get it reviewed by your group or advisor, and revise, revise, revise, until you create something you’re proud of.
How I Approached My Letters of Recommendation
For LORs, I followed the usual protocol:
- Ask letter writers a month in advance.
- Send them the full application package (shared on Google Drive) – transcript, PS, RS, CV, etc.
- Offer to meet to discuss points to highlight in the LOR.
- Follow up and send reminder emails.
- Send thank you emails/notes.
I thought that this would be sufficient, until I saw a thread from a past client, Dr. Arianna Long, who wrote an awesome thread about how to make LORs even more effective.
As I read through the thread, I wish that I had seen this before I did GRFP. These tips are truly next level self-advocacy. Some people might feel awkward about doing this (especially if you are a first generation student and never had your parents brag about you). It’s not a loophole or cheating – it’s setting yourself up for success as much as you can.
Think of it this way – there are people who have the privilege of knowing this information already because of their background or connections. Now that you have this information, how can you leverage it for what you want to achieve?
What I Wish I Did Differently
Now that it’s been a week since I submitted, there are few things I wished that I did differently. A professor commented that we spend too much time on the application because it’s only 2 pages, so it should be done in a few hours. I don’t agree that it should be done in a few hours, but I now wish that I didn’t spend so much time and energy on it, especially since it could’ve been used towards something else. At some point, I hit a plateau in what I could improve, but I kept tinkering with minor details. This isn’t something I could’ve known in the moment, but I can apply this to future assignments.
I also wish that I read and understood the background of my idea better. For context my RS leaned towards organic chemistry, and I’m not the strongest in organic chemistry. When I wrote my RS, this showed. Fortunately my group and advisor pointed this out in the revision process. They asked questions in their feedback, which forced me to read more about it. Afterwards, I realized how I misunderstood some concepts or used certain wording or phrasing incorrectly.
Final Takeaways
Regardless of the NSF GRFP results in April 2023, preparing this application has been an educational and valuable experience that can be applied to future PhD requirements, such as 2nd year thesis background exam (Spring 2023) and 3rd year research proposal (Fall 2023/Spring 2024).
A final tip to future NSF GRFP applicants: It’s important that you understand how/when/where you work the best, so that you can set yourself up for success. For example, I knew that starting early and setting weekly deadlines/accountability with my advisor would motivate me to make progress. Everyone has different needs and preferences, so there’s no right or wrong way to complete the application. However, I would not recommend waiting until the week before the deadline to get started, especially if you want to ask for feedback (it’s too little notice so it’s a little rude) or if you know you need a lot of thinking space to create a research proposal that you’re proud of.
I hope that you enjoyed reading about my personal experience and takeaways from my chemistry PhD journey. If you’d like to chat more about what I’ve shared, feel free to send me an email at hello@brittanytrinh.com.