After working for 2 years industry, I wanted to apply to grad school again. Now it’s been about a month since I’ve submitted my application. In the following week, I checked my email every hour to see if I received any updates (spoiler alert: there were none.)
Actually, this is my second time applying for grad school. I applied for the first time during my final semester in undergrad. One program accepted me and I chose to defer so I could work full-time. After working in industry for the past 2 years, I’ve decided to go back to school.
It’s been a long journey for me to get here. I almost convinced myself that I didn’t want to do research anymore or that I wouldn’t be able to survive grad school. I realized that if I never let myself try, I would wonder “What if” for the rest of my life.
Many of my family and friends heard me talk about grad school for years, so they’re probably glad that I’m finally doing something about it. In this blog post, I’ll talk about how I got here, why I deferred my initial acceptance, and why I want to apply to grad school after my industry experience.
How I Applied to Grad School Preview Programs
During my final semester of undergrad, I was deciding between going to graduate school or working full-time. Since learning about and working in research as a sophomore, I wanted to be immersed in more research. My professors encouraged me often and it validated my self-worth. As I learned more about academic culture, I wondered if I was prepared. I wrote about it a little more here.
I struggled through a few semesters in engineering, which left some trauma in my mind and body. Eventually I found a new path in chemistry. Although my confidence in myself was better than before, I did not have the confidence that I would be successful as a graduate student.
My friend, who graduated a semester before me, told me about two chemistry preview programs – UW-Madison CHOPS and UMich MCORE. Accepted students can visit the university before applying to the school with all expenses paid or reimbursed. I thought it would be an exciting opportunity to try out, so I applied for both. I was accepted to UW-Madison’s program, which I wrote about here.
Another benefit of participating in CHOPS was receiving a fee waiver from the department. Although I already accepted the full-time job offer, I wanted to see if I could get in.
Why I Deferred an Offer from a PhD Program
On the night of my first day of work, I received an acceptance email from UW-Madison. They offered me not only an acceptance but also an additional fellowship. I felt excited and conflicted, to say the least. I just started my job and I didn’t want to leave so soon. But how could I turn down a fellowship?
When I visited UW-Madison in-person, I asked about possibly deferring my acceptance. I felt nervous about asking because I thought that they rescind my offer. They were understanding and allowed deferrals up to 2 years. I found out later that many universities/departments offer deferrals, so it’s good to ask if you need this option.
Eventually, I decided to defer because I did not feel ready for the rigor of grad school. I also wasn’t entirely sure if research or grad school was for me. It seemed like the next best step when I didn’t know what to do next. I didn’t want to go if my decision was based on fear.
I also wanted a break from the academic grind. In college, all I needed to do was eat at the dining hall, study or go to lab, and pay my tuition once a semester. I didn’t have any solid life skills or cultivate other skills and interests outside of school. My academic success dictated my identity and self-worth before, and I didn’t want that to continue.
Taking time off from school allowed me to learn life skills, like managing my finances, taking care of myself and my environment. I did fun things like travel, start my business, and played piano again.
Why I Wanted to Apply to Grad School
Over the past two years, I’ve worked as a technical service specialist at a chemical manufacturing company, where I work with polymers in consumer applications like adhesives and packaging. I’ve learned more about polymer rheology, analytical chemistry, and manufacturing processes. (In a future post, I will be able to go more in-depth about what I did and learned specifically, but I’ll keep it broad for privacy reasons for now).
Overall, the day-to-day of my job is pretty hands-on in the lab with report writing/presentations. However, I’ve noticed that projects moved too quickly for me. The tight timelines didn’t give me the time or energy to process what I was doing.
I realized that I relied on my boss and older colleagues to help me out, but I wanted to become a more independent scientist. The best way for me to get more in-depth technical training was to go to grad school, where I could have access to the people and resources to hone my critical thinking skills further as a scientist.
I also spent a lot of time thinking and researching about other career paths. But somehow my mind always went back to grad school. I figured that if it was probably a sign that I’m ready for it, since I was thinking about it so much.
With some real-world work experience and life skills in my toolkit, I feel more confident and well-equipped for grad school. I don’t see it as this scary, monolithic, difficult journey anymore. Now I think that it will be a valuable learning and life experience, even if I do not get a PhD. The most important thing to me was that I try it for myself.
Final Thoughts
Deferring grad school allowed me to learn more about myself and create an identity outside of school. My work experience helped me see that grad school was the right path for the type of career and lifestyle that I wanted. With this new perspective and confidence, I decided that it’s the right time for me to apply to grad school again.
Even though I am happy with my decision to defer, sometimes I compared myself to my classmates who seemed “ahead” of me because they started grad school earlier . I tried to always remind myself that everyone is on their own path. Ultimately, I trust the path that I create for myself.