The semester is going by so quickly! It’s probably because I started working in the lab or in the office. Having an office to go to has been beneficial to my mental health. Last semester, I was lounging around random areas on campus and doing homework, so the time passed by slower. I also already felt homesick, and having to move around every day since the chemistry building was shut down, added to my feeling of not belonging.
In this post, I share how I’ve been navigating the first month of research, including overcoming lab anxiety, creating a writing practice, and restarting my business.
Navigating the first month of research
It’s been a little over a month since I started working in the lab again. I was away from a lab setting for only 8 months or so (since I quit my job) but a few years since I was in a research lab. When I first started again, everything felt foreign.
Could I open this bottle? Where do I find this item? How do I measure tiny amounts of chemicals? In my previous job, I was measuring things on 100-gram scale, liters, etc. Now I’ve scaled down to mg or mL scale in tiny vials. Very cute, but also I am prone to knocking things over. That never would have happened with a 2L stainless steel pitcher.
I mentioned before that I had some hesitation with asking for help, but I got over that. Now the next hurdle was 1) not feeling bad about making mistakes and 2) not feeling pressured to work in the lab all the time.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself when things don’t work as I want them to, which is often. I’ve had a few successes and made a few mistakes. Sometimes after I make mistakes, I feel hesitant to go back into the lab.
Overcoming lab anxiety
When this happens, I have to work on grounding myself, which just means talking through my anxiety, releasing pressure from myself, or acknowledging what I’ve done already. For example, I use a small notebook to log what I do each day. I find that keeping a “done” list in a notebook is much more encouraging than writing a “to do” list and crossing it off.
I also use another part of the notebook to write out (vent) any thoughts or emotions that pop up as I am working. The goal is to get it out of my system at the moment so that I can still be effective and get things done. At a later time, I discuss those thoughts or emotions with my life coach in our weekly session (for basically anything), my PI (if it’s more research/PhD based), or loved ones (if it’s more personal stress).
As my PI says, our research progress is not as easily seen or measured in the day to day or weeks, but over many months and years. So we should give ourselves a lot of grace too.
Creating a writing practice
I started a personal database of my previous blog posts. I’m surprised to see that at the beginning of last semester I was publishing 1000+ words per blog posts, writing weekly or biweekly. Writing goes on the backburner during the semester, since I am more focused on getting TA or research or class work done.
I want to shift the writing style from writing “how-to” guides to something else. The “how to” was an easy title to follow, but I don’t like it anymore. Moving forward, I think I will write more in sprints, rather than adhering to a specific schedule. For example, I decided that I will be writing a series of blog posts about running my business as a grad student, so be on the lookout for that soon.
Restarting and pivoting my business
Last semester, I decided to pause my business after a hectic summer of working on done-for-you WordPress website design. I did not actively market my services or take on new clients, so that I could focus on adjusting to PhD life. After a whole semester of not doing anything and a very restless winter break, I decided to restart it this semester because I missed it.
The biggest change to my business is that I have decided to no longer take on new WordPress clients, but instead shift my focus to helping scientists build and leverage their websites and online presence to get paid for their experience and expertise. If there’s anything I learned in the past year, it’s that I want to help more scientists and researchers with their web strategy, rather than design only. You can read more about it here.
I hope that you enjoyed reading about my personal experience and takeaways from my chemistry PhD journey. If you’d like to chat more about what I’ve shared, feel free to send me an email at hello@brittanytrinh.com or send me a message on Twitter and Instagram @brttnytrnh.