You might be wondering how I have been able to stay chill as a chemistry grad student.
Before I share how I’ve done it, you should know that I’m not a naturally chill person. I’m a naturally anxious person and I seek stability. I used to find this stability in others, for certainty or reassurance. Over time, I learned that the most reliable source of stability is trusting in myself.
The STEM academic space can be mentally challenging and most definitely not chill. I know that I don’t thrive well in an environment that is not peaceful. Therefore, I’ve cultivated a calmness in myself so that I can stay chill and be my best self.
Here are 2 things that have helped me stay chill as a chemistry grad student:
- Resisting internal pressure to be busy.
- Feeling unbothered by what others say and do.
Resist the internal pressure to be busy.
Classes, TAing, and lab rotations pack my weekly schedule. From 9am-6pm, I am doing something – whether it is working in study groups, learning in class, teaching in class, or rotating in the lab.
At the end of my day, I feel exhausted, unable to do more than take care of myself and rest. I don’t make time or have energy for my hobbies: playing piano/violin, working on my business, or writing these blog posts. As the week goes on, my starting “battery” is lower and lower.
During this past Wednesday, one of my group meetings was canceled. I could go home early, at 3:30pm, instead of 6pm. I thought to myself, “Should I go home early? Maybe I should go study somewhere. Is it bad if I go home early?” I quickly caught myself before I fell into the trap of pressuring myself to be busy. I resisted the urge to be busy and went home because I knew I would feel better going home than staying out.
I realized that I don’t need to pressure myself to do more than what I can right now. I used to be the type of person who did multiple extracurriculars and side hustles, so I already feel this internal pressure to work more and be occupied 24/7 with my hobbies or business. I feel guilty for having these multiple identities, yet only doing the bare minimum as a PhD student/person. But it’s OK if that’s all I can do right now.
When you start feeling internal pressure to be busy, here are some questions to help you decide what to do?
- Is this something that is super important, urgent, or necessary for me to do right now?
- What’s the worst that will happen if I don’t do XYZ? Would I be OK with that?
- What is my body telling me and have I addressed those needs?
There is no shame in doing what we need to take care of ourselves. The PhD is a long journey, so we need to pace ourselves and learn to manage our energy well.
Learn how to feel unbothered by what others say and do.
Before coming to grad school, I worked in the chemical manufacturing industry. This experience taught me how to manage myself in a work environment. There were many instances where I expended a lot of mental energy on something someone else said or did. I learned that this was an unsustainable practice. To survive in the workplace, I learned how to feel unbothered by what others say and do.
Grad school is not extended undergrad. In undergrad, there was a constant competition to be at the top of the class or curve. In grad school, there’s no need to be competitive because we are all here to learn. However, there is still a bit of competitiveness regarding group joining because there are only a few spots for very popular groups. (This competitiveness probably permeates in academia in general, but I can’t comment on it since I don’t have that perspective yet.)
My struggle in the past month has been remaining calm and collected, despite the noise around me. Grad school is already hard enough, and I don’t want others’ negative energy to affect my own thoughts and energy.
For my mental health, I mostly ignore (or stay blissfully unaware) about what my classmates are up to and I focus on my own goals instead. When I think about “being behind” compared to whatever they are doing, I remember that I’m doing what I want how I want to, and I don’t need to compare myself to whatever they are doing.
One thought that I recommend focusing on is “No one/nothing can bother me.” This is a thought that helped me get through some rough times before. Another thought is that “I trust things will work out the way it’s meant to.” That helps me release worries about whatever I’m fixated on. I can only be myself and do my best, no matter what others do – whatever is meant to be, will be!
Up Next
This week I’ll be doing Week 2 of my first rotation and meeting with the professor. I’m supposed to come up with some questions for him, which is probably the hardest assignment I’ve received so far.
There’s a difficult homework assignment for inorganic materials that I need to complete by Wednesday, and another problem set for polymers before next Wednesday. Most likely I’ll be going to the TA and professor for additional help, and work with my classmates in study groups.
There are also some social events, like apple picking (but apparently they’re out of apples) coming up, but honestly, I prefer to use weekends to recuperate from the week. I’m planning to bake some chocolate coconut macaroons next week! The recipe is surprisingly easy, yet looks complicated. This is my favorite type of project – looks impressive, but is actually simple!
I hope that you enjoyed reading about my personal experience and takeaways from my chemistry PhD journey. If you’d like to chat more about what I’ve shared, feel free to send me an email at hello@brittanytrinh.com or send me a message on Twitter and Instagram @brttnytrnh.